Baby mama drama
by midnightbittersweet
Summary: When a little accident happens in Zim's lab what happens when he is apparently reviled to be the last Fertile Irken. (slight ZADR later, Mpreg)
1. Chapter 1

**A!N okay first invader Zim fic**

**I just thought of this on random and decided I just had to write it**

**I mean I like the idea of this and…**

**Anyway on with the fic **

It was a normal day for the human race and …the not so human part of the human race. By that I mean Zim, and by normal I mean he was being chased around by Dib.

"Stinking human scum. I AM ZIM! You cannot defeat the almighty ZIM!" Zim yelled out halting to a stop in the cafeteria. They had somehow managed to fight their way from gym into the cafeteria; of course this isn't what they were focused on at the moment. "I will stop- … whatever you were planning to do with the spatula!... for … earth?" Dib said energy bussing away as he continued to question what he was 'stopping' this time exactly.

Over the years Zim had gotten really good at this whole 'taking over the earth' thing. He has actually come really close and Dib has been barley able to stop him a few times. Especially considering the fact that everyone thinks he's crazy, but with progress comes consequence. Zim has also had a lot of close shaves with the human race finding out he isn't human. It's almost as if every race just got more intelligent over the last 5 years. Dib has become an excellent fighter and could even take Gaz in a fight but like I said before, with progress comes consequence. He has also become very paranoid to the point where he is almost stalking Zim 24/7. It's not like he is being over paranoid though. I'm pretty sure that if he stopped paying attention to Zim for more than ten minutes then his head would turn back to find the entire world destroyed.

"hssssssssss- If you are going to do that do it outside!" Mrs. Bitters yelled, throwing both of them out the window. "…. Zim I will defend the earth from your evil alien- Invader…" Dib was running on empty at this point in the fight, but so was Zim. "I will not- lose- to- you- filthy hu-human" Zim said equally as tired. Most of their fights ended with both of them fighting each other into the ground then calling it a draw until the next brawl but it looks like they are trying to stretch this one out longer then it should go.

**_((A!N prepare for a very shitty fight scene. Please just roll with me here))_**

Dib tried to kick Zim but Zim narrowly dodged the attack. Zim climbed up to the top of a nearby tree and activated the legs in his PAK and then jumped, legs ready to pierce anything in its way. Dib jumped back and did a flip to dodge the spider legs that stabbed into the ground. Zim walked forwarded on the spider legs, trying to kill Dib with each step.

"you- can't- kill-me!" Dib said, dodging an attack with each word. Zim growled and managed to tackle Dib and hold him to a nearby wall. "Yeah well- …. Wait … this is my house." Yes, in fact the wall Zim was holding him too was in fact the wall of his house. "…" Dib kicked Zim in the stomach freeing himself from the wall. He turned around and opened the door and ran inside. "Hay! Get out of my house! ZIM COMMANDS IT!" Zim yelled running through the door as well and jumping on top of Dib. "Hay Get off!" Dib said wobbling around with Zim on his shoulders. "Weeee woooo weeee woooo What r u playin!" Gir shouted running around Dibs legs and inevitably tripping Dib, who fell in the trash can (which was unfortunately one of the ways into the lab.) "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" they both landed on the hard surface of the lab floor. After two minutes of trying to regain their senses from the hard fall Dib jumped on top of Zim and held him too one of the tubes full of green stuff. Dib punched zim in the face making his head snap to the back and inevitably crack the tube. "oh sh-" Dib wasn't able to finish his sentence as the tube broke and they were both coated in green slime. "Oh eww…. What is this." Dib yelled trying to shake his coat out a little. "Grrrr…. Nothing much just some organic smeet slime." Zim said getting up from his spot on the ground. "and what is that…" Dib said ringing out his coat. Zim looked up at Dib "none of your business! Now GET OUT OF MY LAB!" Dib sighed. "fine I guess I have to wash up now anyway… I hope this doesn't give me a rash." Dib walked out of the room and to the elevator, which he should know how to operate perfectly now because of how many times he ends up in Zim's lab. "great now COMPUTER CLEAN UP THIS MESS." Zim left the room to go wash up from the Organic smeet slime.

**Organic smeet slime-**

**Otherwise known as O.S.S**

**This slime has been used to produce smeets ever since Irken's haven't been able to reproduce.**

**This slime was made to make smeets threw test tubes and holds an artificial material of a fertile Irken's reproductive goo.**

**A long time ago something happed that made all the Irkens infertile. A planet called Alternia refused to be taken over by the Irkens and the troll inhabitance turned a slime they used into vapor. This green Vapor had corrupted their systems when inhaled and made producing smeets impossible as it had killed any reproductive matter **(A!N sperm)** and closed the passage ways for them **(A!N ovaries) **but the Irkens have managed to create a new way of reproducing. **

Dib tilted his head after reading this passage he found on Zim's computer. "why would Zim want to bring that stuff to earth." Dib mumbled to himself. After downloading the rest of the pages on this matter he left Zim's house and began to walk back to his house.

Zim wash washing up. Using some of the blue cleaning goo to wash his clothes. "crap it got everywhere." Zim mumbled to himself. "gross." After he finished cleaning off the remaining OSS he continued back up stairs. Little did he know that this incident was going to change his life forever.

**A!N okay**

**I hope you caught the Home stuck reference and I know it was short**


	2. Chapter 2 Pregnant?

**A!N okay next chapter. **

**Sorry for the wait**

Dib was sitting on his couch eating chips and glancing at the door. Zim hasn't been coming to school for the past week which just means trouble for him. Then again a few days after the fight they had, he started acting weird. Like not suspicious weird but he was acting … less active weird. "Is he literally just sick… I mean come on…. When has he ever actually been sick." Dib muttered to himself. His attention turned back to the files he took from Zim's computer. "Hay gaz!" Gaz whipped her head over to Dib. "What! I'm in the middle of a level over here." She growled and continued to mash the buttons on her controller. "Fine then never mind." Dib said turning his attention back to the files. Gaz's eye twitched. She hated not knowing things. "No you already interrupted me! so you might as well tell me what idiotic thing you were going to tell me." Dib looked up from his files again. "Well apparently instead of having a glob of sperm, one of which would be a kid they have a glob of goo and that entire goo mass becomes the kid. And apparently it makes the Host really sick almost like the morning sickness humans get!" Gaz raised an eyebrow at her brother. "…. They?" "Yeah the Irkens! They have a bunch of files on reproductive cycles and stuff before they were deemed unfertile and like I just said if enough of the goo gets inside of them they will get pregnant and I think it's funny how close their process is to humans even the morning sick-….that's it!" Dib yelled getting up, startling Gaz in the process. "What … what's 'it'?" Gaz growled angrily mashing the buttons on her game slave. "I'm going to talk to Zim." Dib replied slinging on his jacket. "oh…. Finally going to ask him on a date." Gaz remarked, making Dib blush. "WHAT NO!" Dib yelled. "Why would you even- ugh never mind." Dib ran out of the door and hopped on his bike.

Pulling up to Zim's house he pulled out the Irken gun he modified. When he got to the front door without any of the gnome's bothering him he knew he was either right or Zim had a plan. "… Z-Zim…" he knocked and waited a bit. After waiting without an answer he just pushed the door open. There laying on the couch was Zim and he seemed to be in a great deal of pain. "Hay Alien scum. I was right this isn't a trap," Dib said walking in the room and closing the doorbehind him. "Doooo DEEEE dooooo deDEEEE doooOOOO" Gir ran in the room and ran around in a circle. "GIR!" Gir stopped to look up at Dib. "Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiib Maters not feeling good!" Gir announced and commenced to run and loop threw Dibs legs. "And I ate two tubs of ice-cream!" Dib sighed. Just his luck. He has an impregnated Irken and a sugar high robot. "My life!" He groaned. Walking back over to Zim he waved his hand in front of Zims eyes. that seemed to get Dib enough attention. "Hay Zim congratulations. You're pregnant." Dib stated simply. "N-no imp-posible Irkan-ans are in fe-r-," Dib interrupted before Zim hurt himself. "well looks like you're not. I guess this calls for a temporary truce." Dib stated walking to the fridge. "Now what stupid food do you have this kid needs constant sustenance or the pain will just get worse."

**A!N okay so short chapter but im tired okay**


	3. Chapter 3 I didn't ask to be fertile!

**A!N *insert something here***

**Zim's pov**

I was rolling around in agony on my couch. My lower half by my squiddly spooch hurt! Of course as an elite Irken invader I was very pain tolerant but this _really _hurt. I was starting to get worried. _Why would that area be hurting!? _The only thing that could possibly be in that area is an Irken maternal sack! There is no way that that could be the problem though because all maternal sacks were basically useless! I froze as something moved quickly in front of my eyes. I was able to focus in enough to see the hazel… honey? Fuck its brown! Why do humans come up with these descriptions! Eyes of the Dib worm. "Congratulations your pregnant." I froze. _Impossible Irkens are infertile! _I tried to explain this to his pig stink mind but he just said something and left. _Ugh my life! _I groaned

***time skip***

I was sitting on the couch by Dib. After eating seven plates of waffles I finally felt better and was drinking … uh …. caco? No… coco. Yeah Coco, The chocolate that comes from a bean. Beside Dib. The Human sighed and slammed his cup on the table in front of us. "Okay! Look you're going to need to explain more than you have to me! There was only so much info on the files I stole an-," _Wo wo wait what! _"You stole my files!" I interrupted. He groaned. "Can we please not focus on that now!" He asked in annoyance. I grunted but let him continue. "Look you're going to need to explain this to me if I'm going to be able to help you!" He said shaking his head. I narrowed by eyes. "I never even asked for your help you insufficient monkey!" I nearly yelled glaring at him. He sighed. "Is there anyone else competent enough to help you out? Because the way I see it you're going to not only need someone's help with the birth of the child but the process of keeping it alive before it's birthed!" I sighed in annoyance.

_He had a point though. It is illegal and punishable by death or torture to kill a smeet that was born this way, and I shouldn't let it die. It's also illegal to kill an impregnated Irken for various reasons. And technically if I had my computer use its medical feature to help with the birth and what not then it would alert the tallest and I would be apprehended, protected and restricted for the rest of my life! or until they found out what is causing my fertility. I'm a warrior not some piece of glass! Plus if my calculations are corrected about the way I got …pregnant then Dib is also playing another part in this entirely. _

I groaned and rubbed my head a little. "Okay well first off it isn't a child it's a smeet…" I looked up and he nodded me to continue. "Well let's see… Irkens are duel gendered meaning that unlike your stupid- …eh … Your inhabitance. We don't need one of the opposite categories to reproduce. All Irkens are born with both a receiver tunnel or R.T **(Vagina) **and a hvel **(penis) **We do have a female and male types but that is usually determined by the color and strength of an Irkens pac." He looked at me intensely obviously taking in the information. I scowled and continued. "… Unfortunately if what you are looking for are the steps into the pregnancy then I cannot help you there considering it's been too long for any Irken to remember the process. So… we are going to have to wing it." I could have heard him sigh a mile away. I glared at him a little. "Don't think that this truce is permanent! If the situation didn't call for it then I would have blasted you out of my house!" I yelled slamming my now cold coco on the table. He nodded his head and I looked away. "Oh and also … instead of the nine months you humans need to generate another human… Irkens have a full Earth year." Dib groaned and head butted the table and I glared at him again.

_I didn't ask to be fertile!_

**A!N Poor Zim and Dib!**

***insert witty comment or excuse here***


End file.
